"I will hold my head high

Lift my hands to the sky

Rise above all who try to bring me down

I will hold my head high"

This is what I'm striving to do, even though the "all who try to bring me down" is most of the time me. (Oh yeah, the song is "I will hold my head high" from Third Day's Album Wire).

Wow, the last week has been ... interesting. Quite anxiety provoking at times, exciting, boring - you know the kind where you're ansty one second, bored the next, then extremely weee!!!! and then desiring the cry the next? yep. That pretty much sums it up. On Monday night I had an extreme anxiety attack, for I was quite stressed out about this oral presentation and all this other *cough* stuff I had to do. I was also VERY frustrated with confusing members of my group, for I really had no idea what we were really supposed to be doing.

Well I guess two things came out of this: I let off a WHOLE bunch of steam that was building within me (yay for Ian, who listened to me rant, cry and be bitter for probably about 3 hours). And we finished our presentation and it was alright, for I don't think that I made too much of an idiot of myself and I even told a different group that they should consider impulses when designing a part of their project. So there's my physics nerdy-ness for the day :P (even though there's much more of the where it came from - I derived (not really, but it sounds more exciting than "I came up with") some formulas to find out how much force is potentially needed for each part of our device - I was feeling quite proud of myself. )

I slept until 9:45 this morning - it was excellent. I haven't been getting nearly enough sleep lately, thus the moody-ness has increased and the patience has decreased significantly. But this sleep was quite good, for it was the kind in which you just kind of lay there and you're completely out with minimal amounts of dreams.

I should probably go and do some work on my chem lab, for it's due tomorrow, as opposed to next tuesday. (yay for the last chem lab!)

It's really weird, for in the last couple of weeks, I've been having quite vivid dreams, many of them with nazis making appearances, which is kind of weird and makes it quite difficult to get a restful sleep.

It's scary that Anne will be here in 2 weeks. Gah! And that exams will start in just over 4 weeks. O dear.

It's also weird for it feels like there is something ... there that makes it seem very difficult to me to be excited for things that will happen (ie. TEC, school being over, etc.) maybe because it just seems like sooo much time and other things are looming ahead of me, and I'm not looking forward to them, so I worry about them instead of being excited for other things.

I could potentially go to the Maritimes this summer with Ian, but I don't know how that is going to work. I like the Maritimes, they're quite exciting.

And God sits in Heaven and laughs at me. For I am doing the Sacred Scriptures talk.
How ironic. Heaven help me.
I guess I have a lot of reading, praying and thinking to do.

I am done all my midterms for this semester. I am a champion. Hopefully I can keep it up.

o dear. here's reaching for that degree in chemical engineering with a minor in petroleum.

I can do it. Because I'm smart and I want to.

And sanity to (not) go out the window.

Whoa man. It's Sunday already. Which means that it's 34 days until final exams start. O_O. O well, I will survive.

I like this "poem:"

"->Stress<-

The confusion created when

one's mind over-rides the body's

basic desire to choke the living

hell out of some jackass

who desperately needs it!"

I think it's excellent. My friend sent me this email about stress - if you'd like me to send it to you, just tell me and I will. It's quite amusing...

I have spent the majority of the day studying calculus/doing homework stuff, so my brain is pratically shot. So this is practically the most useless post ever. I don't think I really have any exciting anecdotes to declare to world... other than how Ian wants to eat a whole entire moose so that he can tell this to his grandchildren and that we made quite a hullabaloo at Tims... But I don't do the story justice...

I haven't updated this in a while. O well.

Bleh = me. I'm just so tired... I guess it's just the middle of the semester were all the lack of sleep is catching up with me... I really hope that I do not get sick (I have been fighting off foggy-ness, sore throats and headaches in the last couple of days... ) Not that I really should complain too much... for despite having a HECKLOAD of work to do, I've gotten 90% on my programming midterm, around 90% on chem midterm (not definite), at this point, I can get into any department that I want to (WOoT! Chem with petroleum minor hopefully! Carl and I are going to come up with the quadruple "c" - Chem cool Carl and Christine - it's going to be a new process or equation of state. I'm exciting) and well I'm doing alright in my quizzes and assignments thus far. So I'm pretty much in good shape for school as long as I keep at it (now, that's the trick.)

Did you know that according to my physics prof, 13 = 0? and that -3 - 10 = 7? amazing.

I just have to remember to sleep (and be rested) so that this semester can end with much confetti - for I want to be in this program, as opposed to just normal chem engg. It's always good to have something to look forward to (and to work for) that seems like a feasible goal, that is not too far away so you don't forget about it or lose patience.

Another thing I'm looking forward to is working this TEC - Trevor phoned me last night and I was placed on conference!!! (which is really exciting - for I've always wanted to be on conference!) I'm also slightly afraid, for I'm never really done anything like that before. I told Carl about TEC... I don't know if he is interested or not... but I think he's going to be working in Fort Mac., so I don't think he'd be able to go.

Well I should go and do more homework... or work on stuff in general. Or find an irrational expression for cos(pi/20). O dear.

And today is the first day of Lent. I don't know what I should give up... I was thinking that I should give up chocolate (as it is my favourite food), however, on Friday I am going to my friend's 19th Birthday Party and there will be chocolate fondue. So I don't know how well that will work out. I can't really give up things like TV, caffiene, Credit Cards, etc. because I don't really use any of them. Maybe I should give up drinking juice boxes in my basement while on the computer - for I certainly to drink quite a few of them. Or maybe give up laziness. What are your thoughts? (open ended question to see if anyone - including you, Anne - read this :P)

Well I'm half way done my midterms. Yay! Physics was alright - I hope that I did not completely bomb or anything.

It's not good, for lately, I've been finding myself become really annoyed at things or people a lot faster than I have in the past. It's kind of frustrating. I guess it's because lately I've also been feeling more stressed out and haven't been getting enough sleep. Or maybe I'm just starting to crack. *gah*

I feel like watching horrendously sappy movies at this moment... but I can't really think of any. (Not that I really have time for them - but maybe on Friday or Saturday night) Any suggestions?

Well I am going to be a brave woman and wear these khaki pants that I bought - despite mum's warnings that I should not because I'll get them dirty due to current walking conditions... But I feel like wearing them, and take that chance and hope that they don't get dirty.
Sad day. my life is so terribly exciting.

Sometimes I feel like giving up... and just becoming a hermit. It would be a good life - you wouldn't have to worry about anyone else except yourself... I guess (and know) that it would become lonely, but you wouldn't have to worry about pressures from society, the corporate wheel, peers, families or anyone in fact! Only just yourself, the environment and God. And well if you die while being a hermit, it won't really matter, for (a) no one will miss you, for know one knows you and (b) you'll definitely be in a better place anyways.

Anyways, I should go and finish up my laundry then to go classes... I sort of wanted to go skating, but I was overcome with laziness. And now it's not worth it for by the time I would get there, I would have to go to class. Alas.