Struggles

I just finished reading a book by Max Lucado called: It's Not about Me - Rescue from the Life We Throught Would Make Us Happy and it talks about how true joy, satisfaction, etc. is found by living a God-centred life as opposed to a me-centred life. I have always thought of myself as a very self centred person - worrying about what people think about me (still do) how a certain event will affect me, worrying about if I'll have enough of something to do something else and all around considering myself as 'the centre in which everyone else should revolve around.' Yet one of the main messages of the book is if we be like Moses and ask God to "show us His Glory" and to do everything for HIS Glory and NOT our own. As Lucado says : " He does not reveal hid glory for his good. We need to witness it for ours."

There was a chapter about "All Struggles Are About Him". Something I've always had difficulty with is why people have to struggle for seemingly no apparent reason. Lucado quotes:

"And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt
glorify me." - Psalm 50:15

To me, it means that we are basically just implements of God - we are assigned to "suffer" (yet call him when we do, thus he helps us) so that we can glorify him through our acts. For me, that's a VERY difficult pill to swallow - ie. if it were actually a pill, it would be at least 10 times larger than these beastly calcium pills I sometimes remember to take - for how can God use me if I can't even get myself to do anything? Sometimes I feel like this guy from the "The Count of Monte Cristo" when he was in this prison because I feel trapped in this dark cell, with only a little window of light too high to reach with 'God will grant us Justice' traced in the wall, but with each passing day it seems less and less likely that anything good will happen. Fortunately for this guy, he met this "priest" guy who talked to him and taught him things as they tried to dig out of their cell... and managed to get out after some sticky situations in the end. Anyways, I guess I can always just hope that something will happen (or maybe it already has?) to not give up hope and have faith that whatever happens will be for the glory of God. As Philipians 1:29 says:

"For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to belive on him,
but also to suffer for him."

The road of christianity is not easy, so I guess the sooner we accept the fact that it will be pocked with difficulties - yet since it's not all about us, it's not all up to us as we have God on our side and if we let him, he'll use us to be lights of Christ.

One thing that has always bothered me with such books, is that people say that we need to become more God centred, fully rely on him, etc. but NEVER tell you how. As a person who doesn't relish in giving up the sliver of control that I have, that is terribly difficult. Lucado kind of briefly says something about one way to do this is to ponder God. But, really, how does one do that? I guess many people spend their whole entire life trying to figure such things out.

God, please Show me your Glory, help me to give all the reigns to you and to live my life fully for you and your Glory. Remind me that it's not about me, but about you. Please help me through my struggles so that I, too, will be able to be a light for you. Amen.